I’m out of my mind.
That is just something to know about me.
For weeks, WEEKS, I have been telling everyone how badly River has needed a haircut–thus making it his first haircut, mind you–and for weeks everyone has disagreed with me.
“You guys, he looks like Donald Trump!” I would say.
“My baby has a mullet!” I would say.
“Everyone mistakes him for a girl!” I would say.
And still nobody in my family budged. And I get it, I’m not heartless, I understand that baby curls are some of the most delicious things this side of Heaven, but it was time. And finally, FINALLY two days ago my husband agreed with me. HIs only stipulation was that he got to be the one to cut it for the first time.
And here is where the crazy sets in.
I’d LOOOOOVE to blame this display of freak show on hormones, but no. No, this was 100% me.
As soon as Robert agreed, my heart started pounding. I wasn’t ready.
“Uhh.. now? Like, right now? No babe, there is a whole thing that needs to happen. Let’s not. Let’s just wait. We should go to like a real barber shop. Ummm… hey are you hungry!?”
Everything started happening so fast. Suddenly the high chair was out, then River was sitting in it, then he had a bottle, then Robert had a comb and scissors in hand. I was sweating.
“Stop. STOP! It doesn’t look that bad. We can wait!”
“Babe,” Robert said calmly. “Relax. It’s going to be great. His dad is cutting his hair for the first time. Trust me, it will be memorable. Go grab the camera sweetheart.”
So I grabbed my camera to document, and as the first snip happened, and the first tendril fell to the ground, tears began to well up in this mama’s eyes, and before I knew it, I was bawling. Like, ugly-cry BAWLING. Right before me, my baby was no longer a baby anymore. The shedding of his curls only confirmed what had been taking place for the last few months, he was growing into a little boy.
Why does nobody prepare you for these moments!? You yourself never see them coming. But suddenly, they are there and you realize just how bittersweet child rearing is. They are your’s, but they aren’t your’s all at the same time. Time does not stop, no matter how much you try to savor, it continues to tick, tick, tick away. As a parent, you get these precious QUICK years to raise your children, to secure them under your watchful eye, and then before you know it they are grown; they are adults, and (hopefully) they are starting this whole process for themselves.
For me, it took tiny little locks of hair to remind me of this Life Truth. And I’m sure there will be a million other small moments that stop me just like this one did. I’m thankful for them actually, despite how they sting. They keep me grounded. They keep me grateful.
So, without further ado, enjoy the photo montage of River’s very first hair cut.
(By the way, I was going to include a picture I asked Robert to take of me mid-cry, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. It was truly too dramatic looking. We’re talking Kim Kardashian ugly cry face dramatic. So, you’re welcome.)
Pssssh… whatever, he’s still a baby. For a little bit longer anyway 😉